“Mothers and Daughters”

“Mothers and Daughters”

Sad to say but many Mothers often fail to savor the precious, fleeting moments in this brief life with their daughters. 

In rushing through life, they sometimes take time only for the “high spots”, while the small, daily experiences that give life its character and the most delicious and meaningful moments are all but lost in the shuffle.  

The lasting and eternal are engulfed in triviality.

However, there is no better opportunity to enjoy life’s small, mundane responsibilities than to invest time and energy in the lifestyle teaching of your daughter – giving her instruction on how to care for younger children, to fix family meals, to study the art and method of homemaking, even teaching her to set a table with care and creativity. 

Titus 2:3-5,“Your job is to speak out on the things that make for solid doctrine…Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior…” MSG.

Yes, I believe that we should teach our daughters to get the highest education possible. I believe we should teach them how to protect themselves and take care of themselves. I believe we should teach them that there’s nothing they can’t do, accomplish or become. I believe we should teach them how to be independent and to own their own things, in their own name.

However, I also believe that there’s something more powerful than teaching them all of that! 

I believe that women and mothers for generations have been the maker and maintainer of good solid homes and good solid families! Therefore, teaching our daughters how to be Titus 2 Women is just as Vital (if not more vital) than teaching her to become a CEO in a Fortune 500 Company!

In other words, she can be a CEO, but make sure she can cook too! She can own her own business, but make sure she knows how to clean, do laundry and iron a shirt! She can be driven to success, but make sure she also knows how to drive her own car to the supermarket!

Mothers, Balance Will Always Be Key In Teaching Our Daughters!

The Greatest Damage We Can Do To Our Daughters Is Teaching Them to Succeed In Fortune But Not In Family…Where the Real Value, Worth and Treasure Is!

In the biblical story of Mary and Martha, Martha was not rebuked by the Lord for setting the table, cooking, sweeping the floor, or decorating the house. She was not doing anything wrong, but her priorities were not right at that time. Busy with good things, she missed her opportunity for the best thing (Luke 10:38-42, “As they continued their travel, Jesus entered a village. A woman by the name of Martha welcomed him and made him feel quite at home. She had a sister, Mary, who sat before the Master, hanging on every word he said. But Martha was pulled away by all she had to do in the kitchen. Later, she stepped in, interrupting them. “Master, don’t you care that my sister has abandoned the kitchen to me? Tell her to lend me a hand.” The Master said, “Martha, dear Martha, you’re fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it—it’s the main course, and won’t be taken from her.” MSG).

Many mothers today are busy with good things, but miss the opportunity for the best thing – Investing Time In a Daughter! 

Psalm 127:3-5, “ Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift? the fruit of the womb his generous legacy? Like a warrior’s fistful of arrows are the children of a vigorous youth. Oh, how blessed are you parents, with your quivers full of children! Your enemies don’t stand a chance against you; you’ll sweep them right off your doorstep” MSG)

Yes, mothers, diamonds are beautiful, pearls are gorgeous, and yet “…GOD’S BEST GIFT…”(says the Scripture) IS CHILDREN!

Remember This: Childhood cannot be used over again for another set of memories! So even while they’re in the womb, talk to them, pray for them, tell them all of the great plans you and God have set aside just for them! While they’re babies, hold them, smile at them, laugh with them! In their younger years talk to them about what they want to be, and assure them, they can become it! In their pre-teens and teens be honest and share with them all that YOU did and didn’t do when you were their age! Tell them you understand, be patient, be transparent, but also be firm and unbending on the rules of your house and the rules of God’s House! In their young adult years, give them some space. Yes, they will make mistakes (and some of those mistakes will be the identical ones you’ve made and even ones that you’ve already warned them about repetitively), anyhow, love them through it all! Carry them in prayer as they try to find their own way in this life. And even when they marry off and have families of their own, remember YOUR wisdom only increases, it does not diminish! They will still need you and need all that you’ve learned in your life’s journey. So be open, honest and available for when they need to talk to you and gain advice and wisdom (and likewise, be just as wise when you back off and let them handle their own household issues, in their own way)!

Believe it or not, Mothers, Your Daughters Will ALWAYS Need You! Throughout Every Stage of Life They Will Need You! Don’t You Forget It! And Don’t You Make the Fools Mistake of Not Being There! You Never Want to Be in the Position Where You Have to Hear About Your Children’s Childhood Instead of Being in the Position to Tell the Story Yourself, Because You Were An Eyewitness to it All!

Mothers, Your Daughters Need You Naturally and Spiritually! 

Deuteronomy 6:20-24, “The next time your child asks you, “What do these requirements and regulations and rules that God, our God, has commanded mean?” tell your child, “We were slaves to Pharaoh in Egypt and God powerfully intervened and got us out of that country. We stood there and watched as God delivered miracle-signs, great wonders, and evil-visitations on Egypt, on Pharaoh and his household. He pulled us out of there so he could bring us here and give us the land he so solemnly promised to our ancestors. That’s why God commanded us to follow all these rules, so that we would live reverently before God, our God, as he gives us this good life, keeping us alive for a long time to come.” MSG.

Be There to Pass Down Powerful Legacies, Naturally and Spiritually! Never Let Them Forget a Thing! Remind Them of Their Heritage!

In addition, there are many practical ways of spending time together without making elaborate plans: Go for a walk, sit down in the livingroom for a girlie chit-chat, go to breakfast at IHOP, have a pizza and pajama party, send a what’s up girl text message. 

Simply Said: You Don’t Have to Go to Disneyland to Spend Quality Time With Your Daughter!  

However, You Do Have to Spend Valuable Time With Her, Regardless to Her Age! 

Remember: Childhood Does Not Have a Repeat Button! Once the Movie Is Played, It’s Done and Over! No Sequels! So Don’t Miss It!

Mom, spending time with your daughter is an irrevocable act that cannot be used again! 

Therefore, Make Every Moment Count! (Ephesians 5:15-17,“Act like people with good sense and not like fools. These are evil times, so make every minute count…” CEV).

No day or even hour can be recaptured! So mom, enjoy your daughter…TODAY!

“MOTHERS AND SONS”

Mothers have a unique relationship with their Sons. The understanding and forgiveness is usually free-flowing, as is the affection; yet for some sons a good mother also needs to be firm, expecting and demanding appropriate respect. 

Never is it too early or too late to begin ministering to your children.

Jochebed and Hannah are two women in the Bible who have often been sources of encouragement and example.

Both of these godly women had their little boys only until they were Weaned, which in those days meant perhaps three to four years old: 

Exodus 2:9-10, “Pharaoh’s daughter told her, “Take this baby and nurse him for me. I’ll pay you.” The woman took the child and nursed him. After the child was Weaned, she presented him to Pharaoh’s daughter who adopted him as her son. She named him Moses (Pulled-Out), saying, “I pulled him out of the water” MSG; 

1 Samuel 1:22, When Elkanah next took his family on their annual trip to Shiloh to worship God, offering sacrifices and keeping his vow, Hannah didn’t go. She told her husband, “After the child is Weaned, I’ll bring him myself and present him before God – and that’s where he’ll stay, for good” MSG).

Moses was sent to the immoral and affluent Egyptian court (Exodus 2:10, “When the child was old enough, she brought him to Pharaoh’s daughter, and he became her son…” GWT); and 

Samuel was sent to the temple to be trained and raised by an elderly priest who had not been able to train his own sons: 1 Samuel 1:24-28, “When the child was weaned, Hannah took him to the Tabernacle in Shiloh. They brought along a three-year-old bull for the sacrifice and a basket of flour and some wine. After sacrificing the bull, they brought the boy to Eli. “Sir, do you remember me?” Hannah asked. “I am the woman who stood here several years ago praying to the Lord. I asked the Lord to give me this boy, and he has granted my request. Now I am giving him to the Lord, and he will belong to the Lord his whole life.” And they worshiped the Lord there” NLT.; 

1 Samuel 3:13, “And I [now] announce to him that I will judge and punish his house forever for the iniquity of which he knew, for his sons were bringing a curse upon themselves [blaspheming God], and he did not restrain them” AMP).

I need to make note of a few things thus far:

 Jochebed knew her son was special and yet she had to give him away: The Bible says: “A man from the family of Levi married a Levite woman. The woman became pregnant and had a son. She saw there was Something Special about him and hid him. She hid him for three months” (Exodus 2:1-3 MSG). Can you imagine having a beautiful baby boy, and knowing something is so special and unique and different about him and yet you have to give him to another? Mothers make Tremendous Sacrifices for their Sons, many recognize, acknowledge and show appreciation, however, there are the few fools that do not! Shame on you! Sons, look back over the course of your life thus far and recall all the sacrifices your Mother has made for you, then honor her to the same degree that she sacrificed for you!

 Hannah, according to Scripture, waited for Years to have Samuel only to give him away: “When the child was weaned, Hannah took him to the Tabernacle in Shiloh. They brought along a three-year-old bull for the sacrifice and a basket of flour and some wine. After sacrificing the bull, they brought the boy to Eli. “Sir, do you remember me?” Hannah asked. “I am the woman who stood here SEVERAL YEARS AGO praying to the Lord. I asked the Lord to GIVE ME THIS BOY, and he has granted my request. Now I am giving him to the Lord, and he will belong to the Lord his whole life.” And they worshiped the Lord there” NLT. Can you imagine first having to deal with the provocation of the other wife! Then to go to the temple and pour out your soul to God in prayer for a son, only to have the priest think you were a drunk? Then to wait YEARS only to give your Obedient Natural Son to a Disobedient Spiritual Father?! And yet, Hannah kept the vow she made to God! Sons, your Mother has had to trust many people with your life over the course of the years! She trusted you in the hands of babysitters, family, friends, teachers, coaches, pastors etc…and Unfortunately, not all of them took the care of you they should have! But mama yet waited, sacrificed, trusted and honored the vow she made to God. Today, look back over the years and remember every single time Mom protected you and honor her for it!

 Mothers be careful of who’s allowed to feed your sons both naturally and spiritually: Hannah turned her son into the hands of a man who didn’t properly raise his own! 1 Samuel 3:13, “And I [now] announce to him that I will judge and punish his house forever for the INIQUITY OF WHICH HE KNEW, for his sons were bringing a curse upon themselves [blaspheming God], AND HE DID NOT RESTRAIN THEM” AMP). Mothers, do not allow your sons to sit under anybody’s tutelage that hasn’t first been taught themselves and second to have taught Their Own Children! Hannah was fulfilling a vow (and despite the faulty hands of Eli that she had to leave her son in, Samuel became one of the most honored and respected amongst the prophets!) However, Mothers, you have a choice over who you let teach them, coach them, lead them and pastor them! Therefore, Chose Wisely! There’s A Great Leader’s Future In Your Son That’s At Stake!

Both Moses and Samuel were put under the unfortunate leadership of those who did not follow God, however, both Moses and Samuel grew to become powerful Men of God…Regardless:  

Exodus 9:16, “My people have begged for My help, and I have seen how cruel the Egyptians are to them. Now go to the king! I am sending you to lead My people out of his country. But Moses said, “Who am I to go to the king and lead your people out of Egypt?” God replied, “I will be with you. And you will know that I am the one who sent you, when you worship Me on this mountain after you have led My people out of Egypt.” CEV; 

1 Samuel 3:19, “As Samuel grew up, the Lord helped him and made everything Samuel said come true” CEV.

How amazing that in the end, Both Moses and Samuel Were Greatly Used of God! In Spite Of Their Beginnings!

The Influence of a Mother on her Son can be Significant just as the early Influence of Jochebed and Hannah no doubt played a Vital Role in the later Success of their Sons. 

Mothers, never Under-Estimate the Power and Strength of Your Influence, Both Natural And Spiritual, In the Lives of Your Sons! Do Not Make the Mistake of Thinking or Acting As Though Your Actions, Thoughts, Words and Deeds Do Not Matter! Your Sons are Watching YOU To See The Example and Model of what a Mother, Wife, Sister, Daughter, and Friend Ought To Look Like! Therefore, Don’t Distort His Vision! 

Mothers, take a moment to look at your life, Natural & Spiritual, then ask and answer the following questions, for yourself: 

1. Am I The Type of Woman I Would Want My Son To Marry and Have His Children?

2. Do I Want Him to Marry a Woman With My Character, Integrity and Reputation?

3. On a Scale of Best to Worst, Where Would My Son Rate Me As a Mother, a Wife, a Sister, a Daughter, a Friend?

4. In Looking At My Dress Attire, Do I Dress In a Manner That I Would Like To See On His Wife?

5. Am I Modest? Am I Humble? Am I Obedient? Am I Approachable?

6. Do I Possess the Fruit of the Spirit? Is It Evident For My Son To Recognize?

7. Do I take time out to Speak Well Over My Son? Do I encourage him? Do I pray for and with him? Do I support him and his dreams? Do I help him in his struggles?

8. Would I be proud of the man I’ve influenced him to become?

9. Have I invested in him the Value of Faith?

10. Do I keep myself, my family and my house clean and in order?

Sons likewise ask yourself:

1. Do I recognize, acknowledge and honor my mother’s sacrifices for me?

2. Do I show her the proper and appropriate respect she deserves?

3. Am I an obedient son that follows my mother’s directions and admonitions?

4. Would my education make my mother proud? Would my employment make my mother proud?

5. Would my life in private and public bless or break my mothers heart? 

6. When is the last time I told and showed my mother that I love her, appreciate her and that I’m proud of her?

7. When was the last time I encouraged my mother?

8. What characteristics/attributes/traits found in my mother, are a Must have in the life of my future wife?

9. How strongly do I value my mother’s opinions?

10. Would my life, natural and spiritual, make my mom proud?

These are just a few questions you should ask yourself to see where you really are. If you are doing well, Celebrate! If you are doing not so well, Change!